If you are a caregiver to a frail elder, you may begin to feel sad or irritated.   It is understandable.  If you have tried to protect yourself from strong feelings as your loved one has grown frail, you may have become numb.   Irritation is a sign that the numbness is leaving, like a sleeping foot beginning to tingle after circulation is restored.  Irritation is enlivening: it wakes you and shakes you and fills you with energy.  With this energy you will be able to take care of your parent, spouse, or client.  You will learn to see yourself as more than the arms and legs and eyes for the person for whom you are caring, as more than the custodian of the helpless.  You will become a protector of the elder’s being.  You will learn to accept what is and make it as good as you can.  In the process you will be touched by the goodness of life, a living that includes the knowing of death.